For My Boys

I wrote this poem after reading a poem by Billy Collins in which he reflects upon the children he didn’t have.

I have two unborn
boy children
who are always happy
that I sometimes think of them
and smile at possibilities.

They are lost to the real world
but not to mine for
each time I was with child
I fell in love with who might be—
a girl and a boy.

I cradled both near my heart,
felt their initial whisper movements
grow to determined stretches:
The first Lucy Prevensie
The second Sonny Liston.

They nestled their weight
in my growing womb
where we shared the singular
secrets and sensations
deeply nurtured there.

I read them good literature . . .
The Chronicles of Narnia, Jane Eyre
So they would associate the best
with Mother’s voice
and feel caressed by words.

With care, I fed them well
Paid attention to their cravings
Kept up my exercise and
midwife appointments
Let our worlds intertwine . . .

So that when time came
to be separate in our beings
we could never be separated . . .
The girls were born in their season—
gifts to this world and me—

The boys moved to where
memories are sheltered
to be visited in hushed moments—
That solitary sanctuary
where a mother’s heart remembers.

 

Kathleen A. Dorholt

NaPoWriMo 2020

April 28, 2020